Keeping Myself Entertained

My attention span has a deficit and is somewhat disorderly which often leaves me feeling bored and distracted but too impatient and edgy to focus on most things. I generally have the T.V. on but I’m rarely watching it; and if I do happen to be looking in the direction of the screen the remote will most likely be in my hand, fingers flying over the buttons as I search in vain for something more interesting than whatever I just clicked which looked better than what I was watching before that. If someone coerces or tricks me into going to see a movie in a theater, social etiquette can help me stay in my seat for the duration of the film … as long as I’m also provided with plenty of snacks and allowed to whip out my Droid to obsessively check texts, e-mails, Facebook, instant messenger, my blog and the ‘dating’ site every ten minutes or so.

Surprisingly, or maybe not so surprisingly if you know anything about ADD (which I don’t because it’s far simpler to just take the meds than to research the various conditions or chemical imbalances I’ve been tagged with), I find it far easier to become involved in routine or repetitive activities. I can’t make it through a commercial break without picking up a book or my phone or going out for a smoke, but give me my set of Prismacolors and just about anything from Dover Publications (although, I am partial to dinosaurs) and I can be happy coloring for hours.

When I got laid off from a job I hated (yet was still terribly offended to realize they were as eager to get rid of me as I was to leave) I used some of my severance money to soothe my bruised ego with an expensive, high-end video camera I didn’t need and am somewhat embarrassed to actually carry around as it makes me look like a local news cameraman (woman, person, whatever …) who’s lost my on-scene reporter, GenericFirstName InsertAnyEthnicLastNameProuncedWithADistinctAccent.

However, in reading through the user guide about the various features and functions I didn’t understand and would never use (zebra pattern? flicker reduce? histogram? … please, just show me the auto-focus) I stumbled across ‘stop-motion’ and discovered that my new favorite toy could be used to make animated movies ala Gumby, Moral Orel and Robot Chicken. I immediately set about experimenting with it and found that aside from the end result being pretty cool, the process of getting there is exceedingly repetitious! Move the figures a fraction of an inch, click off a shot, move them a tiny bit more, take another shot … it takes six shots to get one second of footage!

Since the layoff left me jobless but somewhat well-funded, and because the position a friend was developing for me at his company (same pay, closer to home … SCORE!) would be in the works for a couple of months, I found myself with a little free time on my hands and brand new way to distract myself. So, without further ado, I present The Unemployment Attention Deficit Animation Film Festival!

Springfield Superheroes

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This is my initial foray into stop-motion animation just using stuff I had around the house. It’s got amateur written all over it, but as something experimental I don’t think it’s too awful.

Trampoline Trouble

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My second attempt was better planned and produced. I borrowed some toys from my sister-in-law and even built the little trampoline. When I proudly showed my nieces the finished product with their dolls in the starring roles, two of them wandered out of the room before it ended. But the one who managed to sit through the entire minute and fourteen seconds turned to me in astonishment when it was over and asked, “Who said you could use my dollhouse?” Yeah, it’s that good…

Rescue Rangers

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I put the most effort into this one and I think it’s my best. With permission from my niece I borrowed the dollhouses again and in exchange for my solemn oath not to break anything (sheesh!), I was also allowed to use her Polly Pocket for the female lead. Looking back, I might have had an easier time with someone else because Polly was still hitting the sauce pretty hard then. In fact, at some points you can see where I actually had to lean her against a wall just to keep her on her feet! But that’s all in the past and she’s really turned her life around. I saw her recently and she looked great! An absolute doll!

Gone To Barona

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I made this one for a contest sponsored by a local casino where the person whose video got the most votes would win $5,000. I won $10 in free slot play … which everyone got just for entering. My prize money lasted all of about two minutes, but I had to gamble for hours before I finally managed to lose the $600 I brought with me.

That’s it for now. What do you think? Be honest. A little more practice and I’ll be giving Tim Burton some competition, right? Right?

Hello?